He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
