Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
