Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
