I just pynch a tree in the face
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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