Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
