dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
