i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll