I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it