But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.