people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
