I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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