What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
