and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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