I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize