Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
