Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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