you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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