And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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