I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you win again, gameday.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
