Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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