id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize