Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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