I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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