you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
