fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
