So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
