hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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