her vagine was all disorganized.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
