Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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