He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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