WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
