I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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