why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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