Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
