Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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