I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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