i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize