When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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