He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he thought i was a dude.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
