I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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