Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
