Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
im holly from the hills drunk
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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