so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
