it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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