I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
another moral hangover. fuck.
...so i touched it.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
