He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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