I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize