Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I wish i was in the wii world.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
