she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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