I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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