i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize