hell yes lets make some ravioli
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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