Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
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This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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