Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
