Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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